Author: Don Silva

We probably have our preference when it comes to the kind of connection we want with our significant other. As for me, I have determined factors that need to be present in my relationship so it can help me develop healthy wellbeing. According to Jeremy Nicholson M.S.W., Ph.D., “By evaluating relationship choices on these emotional and practical levels, it is possible to make some sense out of seemingly confusing and contradictory romantic behaviors.” It’s not like I would demand things, but if ever I am given a chance to have a better connection, I would instead consider the important ones that add an impact on a healthy perspective.

1. Communication – Expressing ourselves is one way that could boost our self-confidence, and as such, we need communication for things to work out. A simple yes or no won’t add value to a conversation. It needs to have a sensible flow of discussion. The willingness to communicate can mean a lot, especially regarding contrasting ideas and opinions. According to psychologists Barry L. Duncan, Psy. D. and Joseph W. Rock, Psy.D., “As relationships endure, communication sequences form patterns over time, and it is the patterning over time that is the essence of a couple system.”
2. Security – As I get emotionally weak and helpless, I only want someone to hug me and tell me that things will be okay. I don’t require tons of promises to be able to get through the day; I only need a person that will take care of me at times when I can’t handle myself. I want that extra support I can get to accompany me through the moments of stress.

3. Show Interest – Showing some interest doesn’t mean you have to like everything I like and hate the things I don’t want. All of us need someone who is willing enough to value our worries, hopes, and desires. It will somehow strengthen the relationship when both of us can show interest in each other by paying attention to the perplexity of things.
4. Availability – I’m not saying that I require attention 24/7. I only need someone to be there for me when I need them most. It’s like keeping the sense of responsibility as a loving partner that knows and sees you as an essential part of their lives. They solely have to be there in good and bad times.
5. Honesty – The more I prefer to be in a relationship, I would want it to be filled with honesty. It doesn’t matter if things could be hurtful sometimes, as long as everything about it is true. No one requires a relationship full of lies, and therefore it is safe to say that the act of honesty will somehow help us in creating a better understanding of our relationship.
6. Effort – Every substantial relationship doesn’t happen overnight because it has a lot of struggles. An attempt at keeping things together and progressively working on differences can help build a strong bond over time. Even if it’s a small effort, it doesn’t matter as long as it is valued and appreciated as a whole.
7. Affection – Every person who is in a relationship needs affection. The particular value of expressing love without asking something in return is honestly one of the things that need to be present in a commitment. It can be demonstrated by any physical contact that somehow feels different in a lot of ways.
8. Respect – One priceless thing that completes a relationship is respect. It helps in the cultivation of an individual’s personality because it holds a cultural value in making improvements in a relationship and in life as well. It gives you a sense of purpose in knowing your limits and capabilities during crucial situations. Respect always gives you a significant chance to stay focused and be the kind of person that you are.

We need to understand that a commitment is not about chocolates and flowers. Handling a relationship is critical and requires much more significant importance because it will help us determine our self-worth as well as our capabilities in giving and acquiring love. John Gottman, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of Washington in Seattle, says “his studies show that couples whose relationships remain happy and stable know how to successfully repair problems.”

 

Whenever I hear colleagues say they are following a meal plan to get fit, I always have the urge to ask, “For how long?” It is and will never be my intention to grill them about it; however, color me curious regarding the importance of staying true to a healthy diet to others. “[We] are often surrounded by people who are dieting and talking about food,” says Linda Hamilton, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist specializing in eating disorders.

In case you’ve been at it for a few months, then that’s awesome. You must see the beautiful changes it makes on your body. If you just barely started several days ago, well, the odds that you will push forward and ignore all the food temptations are 50:50. But perhaps the fight-or-flight decision may come swiftly in favor of the diet plan once you know the perks of sticking to it. “Mindful eating means learning to mindfully nourish ones self-esteem in the Zen moment,” according to psychotherapist Ronald Alexander Ph.D.

1. The Steady Meals Sustain Your Energy

When you don’t eat breakfast, you may become exhausted quicker than your peers who have a meal in the morning. If you start eating on time yet your regime mostly consists of sugary and greasy foods, it won’t improve your situation much.

The first reason why you need to keep up with a stable diet is to avoid being in the above scenario. Fresh, real ingredients can energize your system, not fast foods. In case you want something sweet for dessert or snacks, take your pick from a wide variety of fruits.

2. You Can Lower Insurance Fees

Considering you applied for life insurance while you are overweight or obese, you surely know that agencies may impose different regulations on the fees you have to pay. Their mindset is that you’ll be receiving medical attention more than an individual of average weight, so they tend to ask for more cash from you. It will not take place anymore, though, once you sincerely follow your meal plan.

3. Being Productive Is No Longer Difficult

From several studies I read that aimed to identify the effect of an unhealthy diet on the brain, all of them almost have the same result: it dumbs you down. You can’t draw proper nutrition out of burgers, fries, and milkshakes; that’s why the chemical that’s supposed to enhance your memory may diminish. If you only eat sparingly, then you may resolve your productivity issues alone.

4. You’ll Feel Positive Every Day

How depressing can it be to try on different clothes on a daily basis because it’s already hard to find a shirt or a pair of pants that’s effortless to pull over your figure? Add to that the fact that you’re breathless after ten minutes of walking briskly and your boss often calls you out at work for your lack of focus. You’ll be able to become optimistic again once the diet helps improve your size and well-being. “In reality, having a healthy relationship with food involves indulging along with being flexible and kind to yourself,” explains Rachel Goldman, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist focused on health and wellness

5. Your Lifespan May Increase

Some think of obesity as a death sentence, and I honestly agree with them. The extra pounds showing on the scales bring you closer than ever to diabetes and cardiovascular diseases – health problems that stay in stealth mode until they knock your system down. When you stick to healthy meals, however, you’ll lose weight and have a better opportunity to live longer than your doctor’s assumption

 

Moving to one of the major cities in the world is a dream come true for a lot of millennials. When you lived in a small town for most of your life, being in the metro feels as if you are a step closer to fulfilling your goals. Any job you can think of is available, and it’s effortless to build connections with various individuals.

Despite such benefits, though, what I don’t appreciate about the city life is the abundance of restaurants in every block. Yes, you get to try different cuisines regularly, but you also fail to hone your cooking skills, which can make your mama proud. I’m not just saying to the ladies, mind you – guys need to learn to prepare tasty dishes too in this lifetime. “Now, most of us think that eating out is a treat, and that indulgent meals are a special reward. But this study found that women were significantly happier and less stressed after eating at home, and after eating healthier meals,” said Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D.

In case it’s still unclear why cooking meals at home is a great option, find out its seven advantages below.

1. You Know What Goes In Your Food

Creating a meal by yourself is important because it makes you aware of each ingredient that gets mixed with your food. It is mainly important when you are sensitive or allergic to products like dairy, nuts, etc. While you may ask a chef in a fine-dining establishment to customize a dish for you, that may not be possible when you’re in a fast-food chain where everything’s ready beforehand.

2. The Expenses Won’t Be Too High

The retail prices of the dishes you see on a menu are typically high because the owners need to take taxes, the employees’ wages, and other miscellaneous fees into consideration. If you cook at home, however, you’ll only need to pay for gas and groceries that can last for a week or so.

3. You Can Choose Healthy Ingredients

Healthy living is difficult to achieve when your friends always pull you towards burger joints. But when you have cooking skills, you may entirely skip going to such places and prepare delicious foods with better ingredients. “Start at the supermarket”, suggests Jaclyn Lopez Witmer, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist in New York. “Give yourself plenty of time to shop.”

4. It’s Easy To Savor The Meal

Regardless of how beautiful the ambiance is at your restaurant of choice, people tend to wolf down the food and leave, especially when there’s a long queue of diners outside. Its downside is that you can’t savor every bite. You won’t have to be in a hurry to finish your meal, of course, if you made it yourself at home.

“Allow yourself to get curious about the smells and colors as well as how the ingredients change as they combine,” says Denver psychotherapist Brittany Bouffard, LCSW.

5. You Have Control Over The Portions

Dieting is useless once you go to food joints that serve dishes in large portions. It’s all good in case you have someone else to share it with, for instance. Considering you’re alone, though, you may need to finish everything in one sitting. At least, when you create the food in your place, you can make something delicious without the high probability of overeating.

6. It’s Possible To Prepare Weekly Meals

Being a busy person isn’t a valid excuse either to not cook meals at home. Feel free to adopt meal prep ideas in which you only need to fix dishes once for the entire week. You merely have to divide them into different containers – microwavable or not – and reheat the food during mealtimes.

7. You Can Serve New Dishes To Your Loved Ones

Cooking also allows you to satisfy the craving of your beloved friends and family members for great food. When you invite them over, you no longer have to order from a restaurant and wait for delivery for 30 minutes or more. They can feel your affection better as well through your home-cooked meals.

Writing a book was one of the most daunting dreams I ever had for as long as I can recall. Even during my teenage years, I’d attempt to write, but I’d always end up pushing it at the bottom of my priority list.

My first reason was that I needed more life experiences to make my work extra believable or interesting. A couple of years later, I said my knowledge regarding different writing techniques wasn’t enough. It was when I couldn’t give any more alibi to stop myself from scribbling the plot down that I thought, “Well, it’s now or never.” According to cognitive psychologist Keith Oatley, “Almost all human cultures create stories that, until now, have been rather dismissively called ‘entertainment’. I think there is also something more important going on.”

Was my first book a success? Nope – I barely got copies sold online. But was it worth all the trouble? Yes, of course! Below are some reasons why you should pen a book already.

1. You Can Exercise Your Freedom Of Expression

Off the bat, the best thing about writing a book is that you can express yourself without feeling judged. Therapists, in fact, recommend this activity to their patients who can’t voice out their issues. By the time you reach the concluding pages, you may no longer feel unfamiliar about self-expression.

2. You’ll Learn To Organize Your Thoughts

Are you a scatter-brained individual? Being a writer can help you improve that characteristic for the better, you know. Since there are a lot of pages in a single book, you’ll have no choice but to compartmentalize ideas so that you can lengthen each chapter. It can also help you stop misplacing your stuff and have a peace of mind.

3. Learning Becomes A Natural Habit

In case studying wasn’t your strongest suit when you were young, it can change now once you become an author. For your work to gain more attention, you can’t merely speak about anything without giving it much thought. You may then naturally read other books or articles on the internet to increase your knowledge base.

4. It Pushes Your Limits

As mentioned earlier, a decent book isn’t just a three-page literary piece. Even a storybook has over ten pages, so it isn’t for the faint of heart. What’s great about writing one, regardless of the genre, however, is that you’ll be able to encourage your brain to produce more creative thoughts every day. If that doesn’t sharpen your memory, nothing else can. For psychologist and writer Ryan Howes, Ph.D, “There is so much to learn—about people, psychology, and writing itself—that I’ll never run out of material.”

5. Your Connections Will Grow

When you have a book that a lot of readers can relate to, they will reach out to you. Some may even become your new friends, while others may want to beta-read for your next work or introduce you to influential folks who can turn your book into a motion picture. All in all, many exciting things can happen when you build connections with your readers.

6. Inspiring Others Isn’t Impossible

“Inspiration sparks creativity, and helps us make progress on our goals”, according to American psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman. Though your story may seem absurd in your head, don’t let it prevent you from writing it down. Reading books offers individuals a chance to escape reality and stay in the little world that authors make for them. Whether it’s fictional or non-fictional, any literary piece can motivate people to refine their decisions and even save others from doom or death.

7. You’ll Leave Your Mark On This Planet

Finally, a book is a timeless part of yourself that may never be forgotten even when you die. Others may make more copies of it in the future; the cover design may change as well. But what won’t ever disappear is your name on that masterpiece.

Source: pexels.com

Many people want to get married for so many reasons. Some individuals have decided to tie the knot with their loved ones at a young age. On the other hand, many persons had done it when they were a little older. However, the reality is that there is no timeline when it comes to getting married. Sometimes, when you find the right person in your life, evMarriage coach Lesli Doares, author of Blueprint For A Lasting Marriage, says, “Being married is about joining two lives together, not giving up one. Being content in your own skin means you won’t be looking to your partner to fill voids in your life.”erything will click to the point that both of you will decide to get married.

Unfortunately, there is always a big part in your life that will always wonder if getting married is the best choice at the moment. Because of this, we have decided to come up with an article that can help you make the best decision about your life. Our primary objective is to guide you in determining whether or not it is about time to take your loving relationship to the next level. Are you ready to settle down? Here are the top signs to look out for:

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You Have A Stable Job

There are tons of things that you must take care of when it comes to getting married. One of which is the increase in your day-to-day expenses. Keep in mind that planning a wedding can be expensive, especially if your partner wants a grand celebration. At the same time, the first few years of the marriage can also be financially challenging. Because of this, you must have a stable job before you decide to get married.

You Know Your Partner Completely

Another great factor that you must look into is your connection with your current parent. Are you comfortable in having him around in your life? Do you feel that you can spend the rest of your life sharing everything with him? Most importantly, are you confident that you know a lot of things about your loved one? If you answered yes to all these, then getting married is probably a good option for you. On the other hand, if you still think that you are clueless about the real identity of your boyfriend, then be sure to think twice before tying the knot. Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman of The Gottman Institute says, “A good marriage must have a rich climate of positivity” and advises that we make “regular deposits” to our emotional bank accounts.”

Source: pixabay.com

You Are Mentally Prepared

You must also take into consideration your mental health or wellness. Keep in mind that you must take your condition seriously. If you believe that you are suffering from an illness or a vexing problem about your overall wellness, then be sure to find treatment first. Do not rush the process of getting married just because you want to get away out of your miserable life. Instead, deal with all your problems and issues first. Make it a habit to solve each conflict one step at a time. When you do this right, you will be amazed at how ready you can be for a beautiful wedding ceremony and marriage.

“Once we have made the decision that we have found the person we want to be with and commit to, the work begins. A big part of that work is making many other choices,” says Kurt Smith, Psy.D., LMFT, LPCC, AFC. Getting married is not something that you have to do right away. Make sure that you are ready before you do something. Think twice because it is an essential thing to do.

“Whether we write or practice any kind of skill or craft, we are always learning. There’s always something to sharpen, to cultivate, to discover, to understand on a deeper, almost cellular level,” said Margarita Tartakovsky, MS.

So, did you decide to try your hand at writing your first book?

Congratulations are in order because it is an experience that you will never regret. Your focus can be on fantasy, autobiography, or a nonfictional guide as well. Though you may consume months to complete one, depending on how long your story will be, you may not feel the exhaustion much as the book takes form.

Nevertheless, before you embark on this journey, check out the following tips to remember for your first book writing stint.

Tip #1: Set Your Goals In Stone

The first thing to consider is the objectives you wish to fulfill throughout the entire activity. From the beginning, plan how many words your book will have. Mark your ending date on the calendar as well based on your writing speed so that you can keep track of time. “Always consider the final result when beginning a task. Have a clear target to hit,” said James Davidson, Ph.D.

Tip #2: Organize Your Ideas

“Use your curiosity to get your work flowing,” says psychologist Susan K Perry Ph.D. In case you typically have random thoughts cruising in your head, you need to learn how to arrange and perhaps compact them into bite-sized pieces. It may be helpful to have a small notepad with you often where you can immediately jot down new ideas. Organizing your research files is also important, primarily if you’re aiming to write a thick book for the first time.

Tip #3: Keep Fickle-Mindedness Away

Being particular about the stuff you’ll talk about in your title can prevent you from deleting a few pages after some time and delaying your debut as an author. There may be a lot of subject matters you wish to cover, but it’s impossible to compile them all into one written work. Thus, pick a single topic and stick to it to the end.

Tip #4: Never Assume It’s Easy

Novice book writers who have zero experience at penning even a short article tend to underestimate the difficulty of writing. Since it’s the brain’s masterpiece, they fail to count in the equation the so-called “writer’s block” and the physical strains that come with the activity. Making the same assumption won’t be beneficial for your first book, so don’t ever do that.

Tip #5: Create A Plot – Or Not

A storyline serves as your guide so that you won’t forget what topics should go in which chapters. You can generate one if and only if you have no qualms about going out of plot at times, which usually happens when the author comes up with a better scenario. Considering you’re OC, then you may forego the summary until you finish the book.

Tip #6: Know Your Characters

The sixth advice is for folks who want to write fiction. This genre is so different from the ones that speak of global warming or fighting depression, for instance, because the latter mostly has the writer as the main character. On the contrary, the former requires you to build up so many personas to make things extra believable for the readers.

What you can always do is conduct an “interview” with all the characters in your book beforehand. Think about how they may act or look like in real life, to be specific. This way, you can have a reference to go back to anytime.

Tip #7: Write Daily

Lastly, never allow a day to pass without scribbling down a part of the literary piece. Some instances can make it challenging, such as busyness, relationship issues, lack of creative thoughts, and whatnot. The more you slack off, though, the more you’ll have difficulty in completing your work.

With the suggestions above to boot, I hope you succeed in writing your first book. Good luck!

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Being a professional in a competitive work industry is not an easy thing to do. Whether you like it or not, several problems will come your way. These issues can increase the challenges that you encounter every single day. Because of this, it is vital or crucial on your part to be wise enough to learn how to choose a stable job. Make sure that you end up working for a company that you like and a job that you are proud of.

According to Dr. Jonathan Golding, “If you’re thinking about getting a job, it’s important to make a plan before you go out looking for them.”

In today’s article, we are going to talk about the things that you need to look for in a stable job. “True, jobs occasionally do drop in people’s laps but putting your job-search eggs in that basket puts the odds against you,” said Marty Nemko Ph.D. The goal or objective of this post is to inspire everyone to go out of their comfort zone. We want to teach you a lesson that getting stuck in one of the worse things that can happen to you. As such, it must be your primary goal to look for a stable job that you can see yourself performing or doing for the next ten or thirty years.

Source: pexels.com

Understanding Boss

As much as possible, look for an employer who knows how to handle his employees. Take your time in checking the attitude of your future boss towards work and the people under him. He must be someone who can provide you with understanding and patience, especially at times when you need it the most. He must not have the attitude of shouting to workers or embarrassing them whenever something goes wrong. Otherwise, your mental health will deteriorate if you work for him.

Good Pay

Stop denying to yourself that what truly matters is your happiness in the workplace. Of course, you cannot deny the fact that you also want to earn big from a company that you love. Because of this, it is best if you will discuss the potential salary that you will receive at a given firm before signing a contract. It is also ideal to ask for the possibility of promotions or increases in your salary when the right time comes. Keep in mind that it is not a bad habit to discuss money matters before signing the employment contract.

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Efficient Workplace

 

Another thing that you have to look into is the efficiency of the office. Are all the team members good enough when it comes to dealing with each other? Is the environment perfect for someone who wants to have peace of mind at the office? Can you relate to the goals and objectives of the entire workforce? If you answered yes to all these questions, then you have probably found the stable job that you are looking for. Remember that it is essential to work in a company that knows the real value of employees. At the same time, it can also be satisfying to become a part of a team that prioritizes in delivering high quality of work.

Getting a stable job must be your top priority at the moment.

 “Whatever you do, remember that the rewards will be worth it in terms of greater accomplishment, less stress, and more peace of mind,” according to Melanie Greenberg Ph.D.