What Women Say Vs. What They Actually Mean

 

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In a relationship, women often take everything way too far. Sometimes we demand better understanding because we know that our spouses or significant others will probably understand it in some way. Though I admit, it is way complicated than that because men can ultimately take it seriously. So here is a list of what women commonly say vs. what they actually mean.

 

“I Will Think About It”

No, I won’t. It means I have already decided that’s it’s a NO. Women have this logic that when they say they’ll think about it, it unquestionably means they are not interested in anything that you are offering or asking them.

 

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“I’m Fine!”

Well, keep asking. I will eventually tell you what’s wrong. It’s a woman’s cryptic language that men should be aware of women’s emotions and that something is bothering them. They plainly need you to look deeper and insist on knowing what they honestly feel.

 

“Do Whatever You Want”

Better not to do it. If a man takes this phrase seriously, it will cause tons of trouble. It’s the opposite of agreeing on things. It implies that you are not allowed to do it even if they already received a signal.

 

“I’m Almost Ready”

Now, this one’s common. When women tell their spouses or boyfriends that they’ll be ready in a minute, they can at least do something that will buy their time. It’ll probably take an hour when she says she’ll be all set.

 

“Does This Make Me Look Fat?”

Please don’t answer maybe or yes. As much as we want an honest opinion, we look forward to the answer of NO. We don’t want our significant others to make us feel that we’re not physically good looking.

 

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“We Need To Talk”

When a woman asks a man for a conversation, it means that he needs to listen while she talks. His opinions won’t matter, and suggestions are unacceptable. It merely implies that a woman needs to say something and a man should only have to listen.

 

“What Did You Say?”

I’m not exactly asking. I probably get what you said, and I wanted you to rephrase your statement so we can avoid an argument. Women are considered a game changer so it will be a massive fight if you repeat the upsetting last words you said.

 

“I’m Not Mad”

Honestly, I am. As much as possible, I would want to tell it straight to your face that you made a mistake and I got offended. However, I want you to personally know what’s wrong and ask for forgiveness even if you don’t have any idea about it.

 

“I’m Tired”

I’m not physically exhausted; I just want you to leave me alone. Women have this mental capability to turn a situation into something that will favor them. It’s a runoff phrase to get things out of the way.

 

“Leave Me Alone!”

Don’t you dare leave me! I want you to sit there and watch me while I’m having an emotional breakdown. Women want attention so bad that even if they don’t want you around, you need to see how much they are suffering so you can do something to ease that away.

I’m not generalizing all women with regards to their different responses. However, when men hear these lines, they should at least think twice before doing something out of the ordinary.

 

Relationship 101: How To Nicely Turn Down A Guy

 

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You might have your reason why you need to reject someone who’s willing to shower you with lots of love. It could be because of a current breakup in a relationship, or you don’t feel emotionally connected to him. Whatever it is, you still find it hard to turn him down nicely.

“Rejection can be difficult for those who are doing the rejecting and those who are experiencing the rejecting,” says licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Molly Giorgio. “However, it is an unfortunate but necessary part of the dating process, because it allows people to actually find the partners they are looking for. If you are rejecting someone who is interested in you, it is important to remember that standing up for what you are looking for is a part of self-care.”

So here’s a list of things that you can do to reject someone in a very polite way.

Avoid Specifying Reasons For Rejection

It would be something that a man would ask if you try to turn them down. The‘Why can’t you like me?’ phrase will put you in a cornered situation where you’ll start to think about a lot of things to say to be able to respond to the question. Don’t try to specify a reason because it can be taken differently. You have to be firm in your decision that it’s not about his looks or status that made you reject him.

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Don’t Make Up A Lie

You don’t need to patch weird stories to be able to reject someone. You can at least tell them how you exactly feel and be honest about it. In this way, you’ll not only let yourself get out from an awkward situation, but you’ll also make him realize that the two of you can get no further. Your honesty will become your convincing asset for rejection.

Call And Don’t Text

There could be an immense misinterpretation when you try to turn down a persistent guy through instant messaging. He might not take it seriously, or he might interpret it differently. Either way, he won’t be able to appreciate the action. If there’s a chance that you can talk to him personally, then do it. He would probably better leave you alone once he convinced himself that you’re NOT interested in him.

The Expression Matters

Your facial expression and gestures matter, especially when you are trying to avoid hurting someone with your words. Every rejection is hurtful, and there’s nothing you can do about it. However, you can always make them feel better by comforting them and telling them that things shouldn’t have to end there. A simple hug and smile can somehow ease the tension.

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Offer Friendship

Rejection can cause emotional trauma, so you have to be careful in shutting someone out from your life. Though it’s understandable that you are not obliged to give back the kind of emotional attraction someone feels for you, you can at least offer friendship to make him feel comfortable. You can guarantee a connection but not to the extent of their expectations.

“Aim to pick something light that isn’t personal to him or too close to the situation of your rejecting him,” says Alicia Clark PsyD. “The trick is to pick a style of humor that will bring comfort to you both.” This suggestion could work.

Turning down a person can sometimes stress you over, but you have to understand that you’re in a position that holds the situation. You only need to give someone an approachable resolution so that they can wholeheartedly accept your decision.

“You have to use as much wisdom and discretion turning someone down as you do for any life choice, no matter how minor,” says Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein. “You don’t want to hurt his feelings since he didn’t do anything to you. It’s important to be a grownup about finding a way out of these situations. No one wants to hurt or get hurt, but sometimes taking that risk is necessary to move on in life.”

Besides, everybody needs a closure since it’s the right thing to do. It doesn’t have to be a long and drawn-out conversation. You just have to make it simple and honest.

Capturing A Guy’s Heart (The Stages That Men Go Through)

 

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It’s pretty general that when we (women) try to attract the opposite sex, we find it very easy and overwhelming. Is that because we were born seducers? Not really. Capturing a man’s heart is essential in creating a strong relationship and women somehow understand the reasons why men fall for them. Here are the mapping stages of how men start to feel something for you.

They Get Physically Attracted – It’s evident that most men rely on their visual representation. They initially fall for a woman due to physical attraction. However, that doesn’t mean that every woman should have to be entirely physically attractive because in most cases, men’s visible affection can come from their physical preferences as they sometimes set their standards. Therefore, physical attraction varies in a lot of forms. “Attractiveness is something more complex,” according to psychiatrist Fredric Neuman M.D.

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It’s Also About Chemistry – You might think that men are all about looks, but they honestly look for a woman that knows how to handle a conversation. Having things that both of you share an interest in is an excellent source of foundation when starting a connection. However, it’s not necessary that both of you need to have the same interest and hobbies because opposites do attract. The chemistry between the two of you matters because it will sustain your emotional and psychological needs while giving both of you an advancement of personally learning about each other.

Attitude Matters – Aside from physical attraction and chemistry, men look forward to having a woman with a positive attitude. It doesn’t mean that you have to create a personality that matches his preference. All you need to do is be yourself and embrace every imperfection that you have in a way that he sees it as something special about you. You don’t need to be perfect; you just have to be you.

Developing Trust – When men try to get physically and emotionally involved with a woman, the first thing that they try to establish is trust. It is something that they want to secure in the process of getting to know someone. When a man starts to trust you, he eventually tries to go deep into your thoughts and emotions so he can process a way for you to trust him in return.

According to Jeremy Nicholson M.S.W., Ph.D., “Specifically, some behaviors communicate and built trust and rapport better, whereas others are more suited for building attraction. While a healthy mix of both are necessary for keeping a relationship running smoothly, knowing which signal you are sending with a specific behavior is important as well.”

Long-Term Compatibility – A long-term compatibility matters in a relationship when both of you share the same values and goals in life. It’s like having someone that knows how to handle your psychological and emotional state when it comes to potential decision making. When a man sees that both of you can create a future together, there’s no doubt that he has already formed a strong emotional attraction towards you. “If they don’t mention you as being part of their life years down the road, they may not be as fully invested in the relationship as you would like,” said Connie Omari PhD, LPC, NCC.

 

The Comfort Stage – It is a phase where a man feels comfortable with you. It’s like he knows your emotional status, physical insecurities, behavioral problems, and psychological issues, and yet decided to stick with you because he knows you are more than those negative traits. He sees you as something essential for his overall development that’s why he values you more than anything.

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Men are not all about sweet talks and sex; there’s something about them that we need to unlock for us to understand that they somehow feel the same way we do when we fall for them.

Annoying Things That Men Do In A Relationship

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In every relationship, there’s always a time that we feel like we want to choke our boyfriend to death because of the annoying things he does. However, it seems impossible because we know that they sometimes don’t do it intentionally, or worse, they are not aware of doing it. So what are those kinds of stuff that could annoy us? Check out these things our boyfriend probably always does.

Messaging Takes Forever“Texting is used early and often in dating relationships, and while it might be easier, it does have downsides”, according to social psychologist Theresa E DiDonato Ph.D. Considering the situation, his excuse could be valid when he’s busy doing significant things. However, most of us require instant replies on messages. It annoys us when we have to wait for a couple of minutes to be able to get the response we need. In worst cases, we don’t get replies at all. Admit it, we always want a prompt answer, and if we don’t get it, it causes a lot of drama.

Phone Matters“Smartphones have made it far easier for us to stay in touch with relationship partners, even when we are geographically distant,” said Martin Graff Ph.D. I get it. There’s a lot of stuff on his phone that he probably considers important rather than spending time with his girlfriend. However, it happens to become annoying when it seems like it’s taking all of his time. Then we suddenly create these crazy ideas in our head that will soon start an argument.

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Not Complementing – Women are born attention seekers. We always love to hear good stuff from our boyfriends, and it sometimes frustrates us when we try too hard to put an effort into something, but we don’t get a compliment. Seriously, all we want is for our boyfriend’s say that we look pretty today or we did great. They don’t have to do it all the time but say it as they mean it.

Bringing Up The Ex – There’s nothing more annoying than hearing about his ex in every conversation. It’s like telling us that we’re not good enough to be in the relationship. It would feel like we are not entitled to be in a new relationship because all he does is compare and contrast everything with his ex. Men probably don’t want to create a conflict, but a woman is so sensitive on this matter.

Doesn’t Pay Attention – Please, the only thing that we want from our boyfriends is their full attention. When we try to say something, all we ask is for our man to listen and respond accordingly. They shouldn’t just sit there nodding while we currently have an emotional crisis. They have to be physically and emotionally present at all times.

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Forgetting Dates (Anniversary) – Yep, most women would probably go ballistic when their boyfriends forget their anniversary. It will feel like they’re not giving it importance. It annoys us because we tend to spend sleepless nights thinking about it not knowing that our men skip prioritizing that special occasion. It sucks!

I’m not generalizing all the women out there, but I know I perfectly created a valid argument when it comes to the top annoying things on the list. Again, these pieces of stuff shouldn’t have to become a reason for a breakup. You can always talk about it and work things out. As what psychologist Sherod Miller, Ph.D. said, “Couples need to learn a way to stay engaged—not withdraw or attack.”

8 Things I Want In My Relationship

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We probably have our preference when it comes to the kind of connection we want with our significant other. As for me, I have determined factors that need to be present in my relationship so it can help me develop healthy wellbeing. According to Jeremy Nicholson M.S.W., Ph.D., “By evaluating relationship choices on these emotional and practical levels, it is possible to make some sense out of seemingly confusing and contradictory romantic behaviors.” It’s not like I would demand things, but if ever I am given a chance to have a better connection, I would instead consider the important ones that add an impact on a healthy perspective.

  1. Communication – Expressing ourselves is one way that could boost our self-confidence, and as such, we need communication for things to work out. A simple yes or no won’t add value to a conversation. It needs to have a sensible flow of discussion. The willingness to communicate can mean a lot, especially regarding contrasting ideas and opinions. According to psychologists Barry L. Duncan, Psy. D. and Joseph W. Rock, Psy.D., “As relationships endure, communication sequences form patterns over time, and it is the patterning over time that is the essence of a couple system.”
  2. Security – As I get emotionally weak and helpless, I only want someone to hug me and tell me that things will be okay. I don’t require tons of promises to be able to get through the day; I only need a person that will take care of me at times when I can’t handle myself. I want that extra support I can get to accompany me through the moments of stress.
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  1. Show Interest – Showing some interest doesn’t mean you have to like everything I like and hate the things I don’t want. All of us need someone who is willing enough to value our worries, hopes, and desires. It will somehow strengthen the relationship when both of us can show interest in each other by paying attention to the perplexity of things.
  2. Availability – I’m not saying that I require attention 24/7. I only need someone to be there for me when I need them most. It’s like keeping the sense of responsibility as a loving partner that knows and sees you as an essential part of their lives. They solely have to be there in good and bad times.
  3. Honesty – The more I prefer to be in a relationship, I would want it to be filled with honesty. It doesn’t matter if things could be hurtful sometimes, as long as everything about it is true. No one requires a relationship full of lies, and therefore it is safe to say that the act of honesty will somehow help us in creating a better understanding of our relationship.
  4. Effort – Every substantial relationship doesn’t happen overnight because it has a lot of struggles. An attempt at keeping things together and progressively working on differences can help build a strong bond over time. Even if it’s a small effort, it doesn’t matter as long as it is valued and appreciated as a whole.
  5. Affection – Every person who is in a relationship needs affection. The particular value of expressing love without asking something in return is honestly one of the things that need to be present in a commitment. It can be demonstrated by any physical contact that somehow feels different in a lot of ways.
  6. Respect – One priceless thing that completes a relationship is respect. It helps in the cultivation of an individual’s personality because it holds a cultural value in making improvements in a relationship and in life as well. It gives you a sense of purpose in knowing your limits and capabilities during crucial situations. Respect always gives you a significant chance to stay focused and be the kind of person that you are.
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We need to understand that a commitment is not about chocolates and flowers. Handling a relationship is critical and requires much more significant importance because it will help us determine our self-worth as well as our capabilities in giving and acquiring love. John Gottman, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of Washington in Seattle, says “his studies show that couples whose relationships remain happy and stable know how to successfully repair problems.”

Food Therapy: How To Understand The Importance Of Your Food Consumption Process

There are a lot of different things that you need to eat to be able to attain the health benefits you need. It can be based on what your body is going through, and the choice of food that you have to consider may depend on the weather and your mood. “The food you eat can have a direct effect on your energy level, physical health, and mood. A “healthy diet” is one that has enough of each essential nutrient, contains many foods from all of the basic food groups, provides the right amount of calories to maintain a healthy weight, and does not have too much fat, sugar, salt, or alcohol,” as stated by Carol A. Gooch,M.S., LPC, LCDC, LMFT. However, in medical terms, the therapist uses food therapy to balance the disharmony of your health to be able to find and reduce the causes of certain illnesses such as depression and anxiety. The process should be able to make you feel better. So how can this help you? Listed are the things you need to know when it comes to choosing the type of food to consume. 

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The Connection Of Food In Psychiatry Treatment

People who suffer from depression and anxiety may benefit mental health by changing their diet. “Making little changes to your diet can add up to BIG health benefits,” says Elaine Magee, MPH, RD. So it is significant to understand the role of the food you eat and those you don’t because every type of food you take in can create a substantial impact on your mood, function, and development. It will become a practical basis to reduce symptoms of depression which is useful in psychiatric treatment. 

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Online Therapy Health Guide: What Your Lip Color Says About Your Wellbeing

We all have different colored lips that we thought are normal to see every day. But do you know it can determine the probable condition of your health? It will allow you to assess the things you need to do and not to do to be able to keep yourself healthy. So here are the things that your lips can tell you about your health based on an online therapy health guide. 

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The Perks Of Staying True To Your Diet Plan

 

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Whenever I hear colleagues say they are following a meal plan to get fit, I always have the urge to ask, “For how long?” It is and will never be my intention to grill them about it; however, color me curious regarding the importance of staying true to a healthy diet to others. “[We] are often surrounded by people who are dieting and talking about food,” says Linda Hamilton, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist specializing in eating disorders.

In case you’ve been at it for a few months, then that’s awesome. You must see the beautiful changes it makes on your body. If you just barely started several days ago, well, the odds that you will push forward and ignore all the food temptations are 50:50. But perhaps the fight-or-flight decision may come swiftly in favor of the diet plan once you know the perks of sticking to it. “Mindful eating means learning to mindfully nourish ones self-esteem in the Zen moment,” according to psychotherapist Ronald Alexander Ph.D.

  1. The Steady Meals Sustain Your Energy

When you don’t eat breakfast, you may become exhausted quicker than your peers who have a meal in the morning. If you start eating on time yet your regime mostly consists of sugary and greasy foods, it won’t improve your situation much.

The first reason why you need to keep up with a stable diet is to avoid being in the above scenario. Fresh, real ingredients can energize your system, not fast foods. In case you want something sweet for dessert or snacks, take your pick from a wide variety of fruits.

  1. You Can Lower Insurance Fees

Considering you applied for life insurance while you are overweight or obese, you surely know that agencies may impose different regulations on the fees you have to pay. Their mindset is that you’ll be receiving medical attention more than an individual of average weight, so they tend to ask for more cash from you. It will not take place anymore, though, once you sincerely follow your meal plan.

  1. Being Productive Is No Longer Difficult

From several studies I read that aimed to identify the effect of an unhealthy diet on the brain, all of them almost have the same result: it dumbs you down. You can’t draw proper nutrition out of burgers, fries, and milkshakes; that’s why the chemical that’s supposed to enhance your memory may diminish. If you only eat sparingly, then you may resolve your productivity issues alone.

  1. You’ll Feel Positive Every Day

How depressing can it be to try on different clothes on a daily basis because it’s already hard to find a shirt or a pair of pants that’s effortless to pull over your figure? Add to that the fact that you’re breathless after ten minutes of walking briskly and your boss often calls you out at work for your lack of focus. You’ll be able to become optimistic again once the diet helps improve your size and well-being. “In reality, having a healthy relationship with food involves indulging along with being flexible and kind to yourself,” explains Rachel Goldman, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist focused on health and wellness

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  1. Your Lifespan May Increase

Some think of obesity as a death sentence, and I honestly agree with them. The extra pounds showing on the scales bring you closer than ever to diabetes and cardiovascular diseases – health problems that stay in stealth mode until they knock your system down. When you stick to healthy meals, however, you’ll lose weight and have a better opportunity to live longer than your doctor’s assumption

7 Advantages Of Cooking Meals At Home

 

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Moving to one of the major cities in the world is a dream come true for a lot of millennials. When you lived in a small town for most of your life, being in the metro feels as if you are a step closer to fulfilling your goals. Any job you can think of is available, and it’s effortless to build connections with various individuals.

Despite such benefits, though, what I don’t appreciate about the city life is the abundance of restaurants in every block. Yes, you get to try different cuisines regularly, but you also fail to hone your cooking skills, which can make your mama proud. I’m not just saying to the ladies, mind you – guys need to learn to prepare tasty dishes too in this lifetime. “Now, most of us think that eating out is a treat, and that indulgent meals are a special reward. But this study found that women were significantly happier and less stressed after eating at home, and after eating healthier meals,” said Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D.

In case it’s still unclear why cooking meals at home is a great option, find out its seven advantages below.

  1. You Know What Goes In Your Food

Creating a meal by yourself is important because it makes you aware of each ingredient that gets mixed with your food. It is mainly important when you are sensitive or allergic to products like dairy, nuts, etc. While you may ask a chef in a fine-dining establishment to customize a dish for you, that may not be possible when you’re in a fast-food chain where everything’s ready beforehand.

  1. The Expenses Won’t Be Too High

The retail prices of the dishes you see on a menu are typically high because the owners need to take taxes, the employees’ wages, and other miscellaneous fees into consideration. If you cook at home, however, you’ll only need to pay for gas and groceries that can last for a week or so.

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  1. You Can Choose Healthy Ingredients

Healthy living is difficult to achieve when your friends always pull you towards burger joints. But when you have cooking skills, you may entirely skip going to such places and prepare delicious foods with better ingredients. “Start at the supermarket”, suggests Jaclyn Lopez Witmer, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist in New York. “Give yourself plenty of time to shop.”

  1. It’s Easy To Savor The Meal

Regardless of how beautiful the ambiance is at your restaurant of choice, people tend to wolf down the food and leave, especially when there’s a long queue of diners outside. Its downside is that you can’t savor every bite. You won’t have to be in a hurry to finish your meal, of course, if you made it yourself at home.

“Allow yourself to get curious about the smells and colors as well as how the ingredients change as they combine,” says Denver psychotherapist Brittany Bouffard, LCSW.

  1. You Have Control Over The Portions

Dieting is useless once you go to food joints that serve dishes in large portions. It’s all good in case you have someone else to share it with, for instance. Considering you’re alone, though, you may need to finish everything in one sitting. At least, when you create the food in your place, you can make something delicious without the high probability of overeating.

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  1. It’s Possible To Prepare Weekly Meals

Being a busy person isn’t a valid excuse either to not cook meals at home. Feel free to adopt meal prep ideas in which you only need to fix dishes once for the entire week. You merely have to divide them into different containers – microwavable or not – and reheat the food during mealtimes.

  1. You Can Serve New Dishes To Your Loved Ones

Cooking also allows you to satisfy the craving of your beloved friends and family members for great food. When you invite them over, you no longer have to order from a restaurant and wait for delivery for 30 minutes or more. They can feel your affection better as well through your home-cooked meals.