Memarie Lane

 

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This year has been quite different for our family. My two teenage sons have been spending more time with their friends, which meant that they were not usually around for dinner. But when they are there, and the whole family eats together, I am reminded of the reason why preparing and cooking food for them is worth everything. At this phase of my life, perhaps more than others, I have realized the good in having dinner together as a family.

Family dinners are essential in more ways than one. I am a nutritionist, and I know the importance of healthy and equally flavorful food choices. However, I also am aware of the essence of taking the time to eat together and the advantages that result from gathering as a family. Dinners, mainly, are much more than just what’s on the table. It’s actually about having an environment of love, closeness, practice, and conversations. I think that family dinners have a significant effect on childhood development and close family connections.

 

Family dinners improve connections with each other.

Most families have hectic schedules. Parents work, children are off to school, and all of them have extracurriculars that eat up most of their time. Their activities don’t end at 5 PM, and they do not have an extra two hours to cook and eat dinner. However, we find ways to use our phones for two hours and even more. With all the hustle and bustle, family dinners are a perfect time to put a stop to all other activities and responsibilities and establish connections with one another.

As a mom of two teenage sons, I cherish the time that I spend bonding at the dinner table. Dinners are among the few times that we are all together as a family. According to research, only 50% of modern families have meals together 3 or 4 times a week. It also reveals that a lot of meals take only about 20 minutes and are usually spent in front of the television. Try using family dinners to bond face to face with your kids. Set aside your gadgets and other distractions and concentrate on building relationships with your family members.

 

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Family dinners encourage conversation.

Sensible and consequential conversations require skill, and family dinners are a wonderful practice ground, particularly if you have kids who are not used to make conversation. When you spend time together with your family around the dining table, all family members have the chance to ask about how their day went or to talk about topics that are significant to the family, or to chat about whatever. In our home, our dinners are a channel through which we can listen to our children talk about their activities in school, what they’ve been learning, and how they’re coping with their everyday lives.

If you find it difficult to begin or make ongoing conversation, try starting with a new topic, like sharing what’s good and bad about your day. Start with you or dad, and then the children take their turns too. This habit has helped us open up to each other and become comfortable at the thought of confiding to each other. In some families, if this doesn’t work, they are advised to utilize conversation cards that have topic lists or only games that serve as conversation starters.

 

Family dinners may inspire us to eat healthily.

As a mom, I have control over the type of food choices that my family consumes. I take my time in planning for them because I want them to be healthy, so I prepare meals that are balanced in terms of nutrition and flavor. It has been proven in studies that family dinners contribute to lowering the risk of obesity in kids. This is because when children eat together with the rest of the family, they are inclined to eating healthy food and also avoid smoking and other illicit drugs. Additionally, some people don’t find their food tasty because they eat fast when they’re on the go. Having dinner at home with the presence of loved ones gives you the privilege to enjoy home-cooked food and made with love.

 

It’s who you’re with, not what’s really on the table.

 

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In my experience, you don’t need to be a chef or an expert food planner to be able to come up with a lovely family dinner. Much of what’s excellent with eating together is who you’re with, not the food on the table. There are a lot of recipes you can find in books and even online. Just as long as you give them something healthy and all of you come together at the table and eat, you have been successful in your goal to find meaning in your family dinners. Perhaps one night, you can prepare a simple combination of mushroom soup and some steamed fish, while during the weekends, you can entice the teenagers to be present by prepping their favorite dish – pasta, fries, and baked chicken!

I truly cherish our dinners with the family. I feel and witness the bond that these dinners have blessed us with, and I am so grateful for every single time that all of us get to sit down with our faces seeing each other, smiling happily, and eager to connect.

 

 

Mental illness is a condition that affects individuals’ thoughts, emotions, and moods. It can stick for a while, depending on the person’s environment and upbringing. It can negatively impact someone, especially when there are triggering factors. And just like this pandemic situation, there are a lot of things about it that can cause people’s mental illness. Let us take a look at some of the most common types of mental illness one can develop during this health crisis.

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Anxiety Disorders – One misconception of anxiety disorder is that most people think the condition is not that serious. Meaning, it would be a waste of time if one would try and secure a mental treatment for anxiety. That is because some people believe that anxiety is only related to a mild worry. However, they do not know that anxiety disorder rarely appears alone. Usually, it gets diagnosed alongside with depression. It is characterized as an uncontrolled worry that impacts several aspects of people’s life. These include social connection, school, work, as well as sleep.

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Depression – In times where individuals feel emotionally unstable, the possibility of depression is high. But some might not recognize depression instantly. For most parts, it can be due to isolation and loneliness brought by the pandemic situation. Since there are a lot of uncertainties, some individuals may experience confusion and uncomfortability. From there, he soon develops negative behaviors that damage his mental and emotional state. In some unfortunate cases, it gets accompanied by self-harm and thoughts of suicide.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) – Usually, when people talk about ADHD, the things that come to mind is stereotyped. Most people assume that it is a depiction of a small child bouncing off the walls. However, ADHD is a condition that affects all individuals of any age. It also includes multiple symptoms such as inability to focus, forgetfulness, and restlessness. During this time of crisis, an individual might develop a mental disorder due to social isolation, loneliness, and boredom.

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Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – For most people, they find this pandemic stressful that they somehow can no longer accomplish anything in a day. But for other individuals, they consider the situation as traumatic. Some people battle with the uncertainty that somehow affects them permanently, especially those who already lost the people they love due to the virus infection. PTSD can get accompanied by other mental illnesses as well. These include anxiety, depression, and grief.

Bipolar Disorder – Bipolar Disorder is not just a compilation of entirely serious mood swings. For people who experience this condition, they cannot control their emotions.  Usually, they get to have unrealistic thoughts that often puts them in danger. People with bipolar disorder can be super happy. Sometimes they engage in a crazy and spontaneous thing without considering the possible damage they can cause to themselves. Living with bipolar disorder isn’t easy because people struggle to find their overall balance.

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Eating Disorders – Perhaps in this pandemic time, people are making fun of how they will entirely look after this whole situation is over. They somehow joke about getting fat or thin. However, it is not the aftermath appearance that causes a problem. People are experiencing an eating disorder, and they somehow can’t notice it because of the timing of the situation. The stress is causing individuals not to take care of their physical health. Unfortunately, that is not a good option, primarily when the virus targets the body’s immune system.

If you think you are experiencing some of these mental health conditions, give yourself a favor, and seek professional help. Take care of your health as much as you can.

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Much of what took place at the 2019 National Autism Conference was dedicated to getting a clearer understanding of the many things that autism is associated with. The event was graced by world-class speakers that were experts in the field of autism and they gave a thorough discussion of the symptoms and causes of autism, types of autism, and the different experiences that children and adults with autism encounter in their lives. One of these experiences common among this group is known as autistic burnout.

Definition

Autistic burnout is an extreme mental, emotional, or physical fatigue that a person with autism experiences. When this happens, he loses his ability to do the things that he previously can do. Most autistic individuals say that this is probably because of the collective effect of having to deal with a world that is created for neurotypical people. Burnout may particularly impact autistic adults who have great language and cognitive skills and are in school or working together with people who do not have autism.

Causes

Burnout is usually a result of camouflaging or suppressing, a technique wherein autistic individuals imitate neurotypical behavior by utilizing dialogues for small talk, pushing them to maintain eye contact or masking their typical repetitive behaviors. Though these kinds of techniques can assist autistic individuals in performing their jobs, they are often difficult and need enormous effort from the autistic person.

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Another cause may be from sensory overstimulation, like a noisy passenger vehicle; stress related to multiple changes; or from demands that are too hard for them to handle at the same time.

Recovery

Recovering from autistic burnout largely depends on the individual and the impact of the experience is for him. Certainly, the first step is for the autistic individual to remove himself from the situation that has caused him to be ‘burned out.’ This may be as simple as going home to rest from a completely full workday or getting out of a serious discussion. Other autistic people have claimed that their burnout was so severe that the impact on them lasted for years. Autistic burnout may happen more often and become more challenging to recover from as people age.

 

 

What’s happening in the world right now is entirely terrifying. Every individual gets affected by the Coronavirus. It is a respiratory disease that spreads from one person to another through cough and sneeze. It has no vaccine yet, so the temporary solution, as of now, is social distancing. Every individual should not be with ten persons or more because the possibility of quickly getting infected with the virus is higher.

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With no cure in sight, all people are requested to stay at home. They must follow a home quarantine protocol to keep themselves away from getting infected. For dating individuals, the situation seems like a nightmare. It is already hard for them to get stuck indoors and no way of seeing each other in person. The days go by, and life becomes so stale that the couple could not do anything. To add more damage to the situation, these individuals have nothing to talk about anymore.

Long-distance couples deal with the situation where they feel scared, lonely, and anxious. There is the uncertainty of not knowing when they are going to see and hold their partner again. The particular situation can evoke different kinds of emotions that somehow affect their feelings for each other. So how can this long-distance relationship survive during this global pandemic?

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Just Be There

Couples who stick together and finding time to communicate with each other can survive this global crisis. As long as both are focused on not indulging in the stress of the situation, they can manage to find ways to make better their connection intact. Couples should not allow themselves to feel bored and isolated. Both must not cut contact as it may lead to fading emotional attachments. Therefore, both individuals must reassure and uplift each other emotionally and mentally.

Make Every Moment Counts

Since the world is on lockdown and people are socially distancing, it is vital to make every moment count. For those couples who spend a little bit of extra time with each other through phone and chat, they must consider making adjustments. Both individuals surely have a lot of things to do with their lives. Therefore, they need to set a routine. They must plan on fixing their schedules and avoid making an excuse not to communicate. And once they get a chance to be together, even virtually, couples should value each others’ effort.

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Be Honest

Honesty in the relationship always goes a long way. Yes, there are times that one or both individuals will feel a little bit off in the relationship. In times like this that there is no uncertainty, both may fail to express their feelings in a nice way. Perhaps that is due to the stress that the situation is putting the couples in. So it is better to be honest at all times. It is crucial to acknowledge every detail of emotional changes both partners experience. That way, couples can discuss the issue and also allow themselves to look for solutions to it. Both couples must understand their role in the relationship.

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During this situation, as difficult as it is, couples should remind each other of their love and commitment. Yes, the uncertainty of the health situation is there. But both should be mindful that this is not the right time to lose track of their long-distance relationship responsibilities. It is not the right moment to let go of someone just because they are bored and lonely. It is not okay to lose a relationship over a pandemic crisis. So instead of thinking negatively, both should focus on looking for something to look forward to.

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It was at the 2017 Autism Conference where medical professionals and other specialists met and shared knowledge and expertise. The event was not only an opportunity for families with autistic family members to learn more about the condition, but it was also an opportunity to get a lot of freebies – free hair cut, free play for kids, and free art shows. Plus, it was filled with law enforcers that were provided by the town to control the crowd and maintain safety and security.

One of the goals of the event was to educate parents and caregivers on the effects of having a child with autism and how this impacts family life.

Family Adjustments

It is vital to acknowledge that family dynamics will ultimately change after the diagnosis. There is no other way around it, but eventually, everyone will have been adjusted to the situation and accept the truth. Going out with the whole family for picnics, holidays, field trips, and the usual family traditions can be challenging when a child with autism is involved.

Accommodations must be chosen so that the child will be comfortable and will not cause any hassle or distribution that may induce tantrums. However, despite these modifications, fun and memories can still be captured, and families must continue doing activities together instead of ceasing to do them because of the difficulties.

Parents’ Adjustments

It’s natural for parents to have big dreams for their children, whether parents are vocal or not about them. When they learn that one of their children (or their only child) has autism, they initially become dismayed and frustrated, and most of them change their minds about what they think about their child. They are often discouraged because the dreams that they had for their child will no longer be realized. However, they should not feel this way.

The truth is, every child is unique in his way – even a child with autism. So while he may be physically or mentally disabled, parents will soon discover that their child has other special personalities and talents. He can be good at painting or drawing; he could be a math genius! Parents must learn how to hone and improve the skills that their children with autism have.

Relationship With Other Children

Parents usually worry because their other children might think that they spend too little time with them and too much time on their sibling with autism. Of course, there’ll be doctors’ appointments and therapy sessions. If the other children are unable to understand the reason for the lesser attention, they are more likely to be affected mentally and emotionally.

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It is therefore important for parents to explain to them that even if they spend time with their sibling because of his condition, it doesn’t mean that they are less loved. It is only because their brother needs more help – and that even they should do their part. There must always be communication for them to understand. They should also be included in the activities that parents have for their autistic child so that they will develop more love and empathy for him.

 

 

 

 

In a relationship, women often take everything way too far. Sometimes we demand better understanding because we know that our spouses or significant others will probably understand it in some way. Though I admit, it is way complicated than that because men can ultimately take it seriously. So here is a list of what women commonly say vs. what they actually mean.

 

“I Will Think About It”

No, I won’t. It means I have already decided that’s it’s a NO. Women have this logic that when they say they’ll think about it, it unquestionably means they are not interested in anything that you are offering or asking them.

 

 

“I’m Fine!”

Well, keep asking. I will eventually tell you what’s wrong. It’s a woman’s cryptic language that men should be aware of women’s emotions and that something is bothering them. They plainly need you to look deeper and insist on knowing what they honestly feel.

 

“Do Whatever You Want”

Better not to do it. If a man takes this phrase seriously, it will cause tons of trouble. It’s the opposite of agreeing on things. It implies that you are not allowed to do it even if they already received a signal.

 

“I’m Almost Ready”

Now, this one’s common. When women tell their spouses or boyfriends that they’ll be ready in a minute, they can at least do something that will buy their time. It’ll probably take an hour when she says she’ll be all set.

 

“Does This Make Me Look Fat?”

Please don’t answer maybe or yes. As much as we want an honest opinion, we look forward to the answer of NO. We don’t want our significant others to make us feel that we’re not physically good looking.

 

 

“We Need To Talk”

When a woman asks a man for a conversation, it means that he needs to listen while she talks. His opinions won’t matter, and suggestions are unacceptable. It merely implies that a woman needs to say something and a man should only have to listen.

 

“What Did You Say?”

I’m not exactly asking. I probably get what you said, and I wanted you to rephrase your statement so we can avoid an argument. Women are considered a game changer so it will be a massive fight if you repeat the upsetting last words you said.

 

“I’m Not Mad”

Honestly, I am. As much as possible, I would want to tell it straight to your face that you made a mistake and I got offended. However, I want you to personally know what’s wrong and ask for forgiveness even if you don’t have any idea about it.

 

“I’m Tired”

I’m not physically exhausted; I just want you to leave me alone. Women have this mental capability to turn a situation into something that will favor them. It’s a runoff phrase to get things out of the way.

 

“Leave Me Alone!”

Don’t you dare leave me! I want you to sit there and watch me while I’m having an emotional breakdown. Women want attention so bad that even if they don’t want you around, you need to see how much they are suffering so you can do something to ease that away.

I’m not generalizing all women with regards to their different responses. However, when men hear these lines, they should at least think twice before doing something out of the ordinary.

 

 

You might have your reason why you need to reject someone who’s willing to shower you with lots of love. It could be because of a current breakup in a relationship, or you don’t feel emotionally connected to him. Whatever it is, you still find it hard to turn him down nicely.

“Rejection can be difficult for those who are doing the rejecting and those who are experiencing the rejecting,” says licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Molly Giorgio. “However, it is an unfortunate but necessary part of the dating process, because it allows people to actually find the partners they are looking for. If you are rejecting someone who is interested in you, it is important to remember that standing up for what you are looking for is a part of self-care.”

So here’s a list of things that you can do to reject someone in a very polite way.

Avoid Specifying Reasons For Rejection

It would be something that a man would ask if you try to turn them down. The‘Why can’t you like me?’ phrase will put you in a cornered situation where you’ll start to think about a lot of things to say to be able to respond to the question. Don’t try to specify a reason because it can be taken differently. You have to be firm in your decision that it’s not about his looks or status that made you reject him.

Don’t Make Up A Lie

You don’t need to patch weird stories to be able to reject someone. You can at least tell them how you exactly feel and be honest about it. In this way, you’ll not only let yourself get out from an awkward situation, but you’ll also make him realize that the two of you can get no further. Your honesty will become your convincing asset for rejection.

Call And Don’t Text

There could be an immense misinterpretation when you try to turn down a persistent guy through instant messaging. He might not take it seriously, or he might interpret it differently. Either way, he won’t be able to appreciate the action. If there’s a chance that you can talk to him personally, then do it. He would probably better leave you alone once he convinced himself that you’re NOT interested in him.

The Expression Matters

Your facial expression and gestures matter, especially when you are trying to avoid hurting someone with your words. Every rejection is hurtful, and there’s nothing you can do about it. However, you can always make them feel better by comforting them and telling them that things shouldn’t have to end there. A simple hug and smile can somehow ease the tension.

Offer Friendship

Rejection can cause emotional trauma, so you have to be careful in shutting someone out from your life. Though it’s understandable that you are not obliged to give back the kind of emotional attraction someone feels for you, you can at least offer friendship to make him feel comfortable. You can guarantee a connection but not to the extent of their expectations.

“Aim to pick something light that isn’t personal to him or too close to the situation of your rejecting him,” says Alicia Clark PsyD. “The trick is to pick a style of humor that will bring comfort to you both.” This suggestion could work.

Turning down a person can sometimes stress you over, but you have to understand that you’re in a position that holds the situation. You only need to give someone an approachable resolution so that they can wholeheartedly accept your decision.

“You have to use as much wisdom and discretion turning someone down as you do for any life choice, no matter how minor,” says Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein. “You don’t want to hurt his feelings since he didn’t do anything to you. It’s important to be a grownup about finding a way out of these situations. No one wants to hurt or get hurt, but sometimes taking that risk is necessary to move on in life.”

Besides, everybody needs a closure since it’s the right thing to do. It doesn’t have to be a long and drawn-out conversation. You just have to make it simple and honest.

 

It’s pretty general that when we (women) try to attract the opposite sex, we find it very easy and overwhelming. Is that because we were born seducers? Not really. Capturing a man’s heart is essential in creating a strong relationship and women somehow understand the reasons why men fall for them. Here are the mapping stages of how men start to feel something for you.

They Get Physically Attracted – It’s evident that most men rely on their visual representation. They initially fall for a woman due to physical attraction. However, that doesn’t mean that every woman should have to be entirely physically attractive because in most cases, men’s visible affection can come from their physical preferences as they sometimes set their standards. Therefore, physical attraction varies in a lot of forms. “Attractiveness is something more complex,” according to psychiatrist Fredric Neuman M.D.

It’s Also About Chemistry – You might think that men are all about looks, but they honestly look for a woman that knows how to handle a conversation. Having things that both of you share an interest in is an excellent source of foundation when starting a connection. However, it’s not necessary that both of you need to have the same interest and hobbies because opposites do attract. The chemistry between the two of you matters because it will sustain your emotional and psychological needs while giving both of you an advancement of personally learning about each other.

Attitude Matters – Aside from physical attraction and chemistry, men look forward to having a woman with a positive attitude. It doesn’t mean that you have to create a personality that matches his preference. All you need to do is be yourself and embrace every imperfection that you have in a way that he sees it as something special about you. You don’t need to be perfect; you just have to be you.

Developing Trust – When men try to get physically and emotionally involved with a woman, the first thing that they try to establish is trust. It is something that they want to secure in the process of getting to know someone. When a man starts to trust you, he eventually tries to go deep into your thoughts and emotions so he can process a way for you to trust him in return.

According to Jeremy Nicholson M.S.W., Ph.D., “Specifically, some behaviors communicate and built trust and rapport better, whereas others are more suited for building attraction. While a healthy mix of both are necessary for keeping a relationship running smoothly, knowing which signal you are sending with a specific behavior is important as well.”

Long-Term Compatibility – A long-term compatibility matters in a relationship when both of you share the same values and goals in life. It’s like having someone that knows how to handle your psychological and emotional state when it comes to potential decision making. When a man sees that both of you can create a future together, there’s no doubt that he has already formed a strong emotional attraction towards you. “If they don’t mention you as being part of their life years down the road, they may not be as fully invested in the relationship as you would like,” said Connie Omari PhD, LPC, NCC.

 

The Comfort Stage – It is a phase where a man feels comfortable with you. It’s like he knows your emotional status, physical insecurities, behavioral problems, and psychological issues, and yet decided to stick with you because he knows you are more than those negative traits. He sees you as something essential for his overall development that’s why he values you more than anything.

Men are not all about sweet talks and sex; there’s something about them that we need to unlock for us to understand that they somehow feel the same way we do when we fall for them.

In every relationship, there’s always a time that we feel like we want to choke our boyfriend to death because of the annoying things he does. However, it seems impossible because we know that they sometimes don’t do it intentionally, or worse, they are not aware of doing it. So what are those kinds of stuff that could annoy us? Check out these things our boyfriend probably always does.

Messaging Takes Forever – “Texting is used early and often in dating relationships, and while it might be easier, it does have downsides”, according to social psychologist Theresa E DiDonato Ph.D. Considering the situation, his excuse could be valid when he’s busy doing significant things. However, most of us require instant replies on messages. It annoys us when we have to wait for a couple of minutes to be able to get the response we need. In worst cases, we don’t get replies at all. Admit it, we always want a prompt answer, and if we don’t get it, it causes a lot of drama.

Phone Matters – “Smartphones have made it far easier for us to stay in touch with relationship partners, even when we are geographically distant,” said Martin Graff Ph.D. I get it. There’s a lot of stuff on his phone that he probably considers important rather than spending time with his girlfriend. However, it happens to become annoying when it seems like it’s taking all of his time. Then we suddenly create these crazy ideas in our head that will soon start an argument.

Not Complementing – Women are born attention seekers. We always love to hear good stuff from our boyfriends, and it sometimes frustrates us when we try too hard to put an effort into something, but we don’t get a compliment. Seriously, all we want is for our boyfriend’s say that we look pretty today or we did great. They don’t have to do it all the time but say it as they mean it.

Bringing Up The Ex – There’s nothing more annoying than hearing about his ex in every conversation. It’s like telling us that we’re not good enough to be in the relationship. It would feel like we are not entitled to be in a new relationship because all he does is compare and contrast everything with his ex. Men probably don’t want to create a conflict, but a woman is so sensitive on this matter.

Doesn’t Pay Attention – Please, the only thing that we want from our boyfriends is their full attention. When we try to say something, all we ask is for our man to listen and respond accordingly. They shouldn’t just sit there nodding while we currently have an emotional crisis. They have to be physically and emotionally present at all times.

Forgetting Dates (Anniversary) – Yep, most women would probably go ballistic when their boyfriends forget their anniversary. It will feel like they’re not giving it importance. It annoys us because we tend to spend sleepless nights thinking about it not knowing that our men skip prioritizing that special occasion. It sucks!

I’m not generalizing all the women out there, but I know I perfectly created a valid argument when it comes to the top annoying things on the list. Again, these pieces of stuff shouldn’t have to become a reason for a breakup. You can always talk about it and work things out. As what psychologist Sherod Miller, Ph.D. said, “Couples need to learn a way to stay engaged—not withdraw or attack.”