We probably have our preference when it comes to the kind of connection we want with our significant other. As for me, I have determined factors that need to be present in my relationship so it can help me develop healthy wellbeing. According to Jeremy Nicholson M.S.W., Ph.D., “By evaluating relationship choices on these emotional and practical levels, it is possible to make some sense out of seemingly confusing and contradictory romantic behaviors.” It’s not like I would demand things, but if ever I am given a chance to have a better connection, I would instead consider the important ones that add an impact on a healthy perspective.
- Communication – Expressing ourselves is one way that could boost our self-confidence, and as such, we need communication for things to work out. A simple yes or no won’t add value to a conversation. It needs to have a sensible flow of discussion. The willingness to communicate can mean a lot, especially regarding contrasting ideas and opinions. According to psychologists Barry L. Duncan, Psy. D. and Joseph W. Rock, Psy.D., “As relationships endure, communication sequences form patterns over time, and it is the patterning over time that is the essence of a couple system.”
- Security – As I get emotionally weak and helpless, I only want someone to hug me and tell me that things will be okay. I don’t require tons of promises to be able to get through the day; I only need a person that will take care of me at times when I can’t handle myself. I want that extra support I can get to accompany me through the moments of stress.
- Show Interest – Showing some interest doesn’t mean you have to like everything I like and hate the things I don’t want. All of us need someone who is willing enough to value our worries, hopes, and desires. It will somehow strengthen the relationship when both of us can show interest in each other by paying attention to the perplexity of things.
- Availability – I’m not saying that I require attention 24/7. I only need someone to be there for me when I need them most. It’s like keeping the sense of responsibility as a loving partner that knows and sees you as an essential part of their lives. They solely have to be there in good and bad times.
- Honesty – The more I prefer to be in a relationship, I would want it to be filled with honesty. It doesn’t matter if things could be hurtful sometimes, as long as everything about it is true. No one requires a relationship full of lies, and therefore it is safe to say that the act of honesty will somehow help us in creating a better understanding of our relationship.
- Effort – Every substantial relationship doesn’t happen overnight because it has a lot of struggles. An attempt at keeping things together and progressively working on differences can help build a strong bond over time. Even if it’s a small effort, it doesn’t matter as long as it is valued and appreciated as a whole.
- Affection – Every person who is in a relationship needs affection. The particular value of expressing love without asking something in return is honestly one of the things that need to be present in a commitment. It can be demonstrated by any physical contact that somehow feels different in a lot of ways.
- Respect – One priceless thing that completes a relationship is respect. It helps in the cultivation of an individual’s personality because it holds a cultural value in making improvements in a relationship and in life as well. It gives you a sense of purpose in knowing your limits and capabilities during crucial situations. Respect always gives you a significant chance to stay focused and be the kind of person that you are.
We need to understand that a commitment is not about chocolates and flowers. Handling a relationship is critical and requires much more significant importance because it will help us determine our self-worth as well as our capabilities in giving and acquiring love. John Gottman, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of Washington in Seattle, says “his studies show that couples whose relationships remain happy and stable know how to successfully repair problems.”