You might have your reason why you need to reject someone who’s willing to shower you with lots of love. It could be because of a current breakup in a relationship, or you don’t feel emotionally connected to him. Whatever it is, you still find it hard to turn him down nicely.
“Rejection can be difficult for those who are doing the rejecting and those who are experiencing the rejecting,” says licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Molly Giorgio. “However, it is an unfortunate but necessary part of the dating process, because it allows people to actually find the partners they are looking for. If you are rejecting someone who is interested in you, it is important to remember that standing up for what you are looking for is a part of self-care.”
So here’s a list of things that you can do to reject someone in a very polite way.
Avoid Specifying Reasons For Rejection
It would be something that a man would ask if you try to turn them down. The‘Why can’t you like me?’ phrase will put you in a cornered situation where you’ll start to think about a lot of things to say to be able to respond to the question. Don’t try to specify a reason because it can be taken differently. You have to be firm in your decision that it’s not about his looks or status that made you reject him.
Don’t Make Up A Lie
You don’t need to patch weird stories to be able to reject someone. You can at least tell them how you exactly feel and be honest about it. In this way, you’ll not only let yourself get out from an awkward situation, but you’ll also make him realize that the two of you can get no further. Your honesty will become your convincing asset for rejection.
Call And Don’t Text
There could be an immense misinterpretation when you try to turn down a persistent guy through instant messaging. He might not take it seriously, or he might interpret it differently. Either way, he won’t be able to appreciate the action. If there’s a chance that you can talk to him personally, then do it. He would probably better leave you alone once he convinced himself that you’re NOT interested in him.
The Expression Matters
Your facial expression and gestures matter, especially when you are trying to avoid hurting someone with your words. Every rejection is hurtful, and there’s nothing you can do about it. However, you can always make them feel better by comforting them and telling them that things shouldn’t have to end there. A simple hug and smile can somehow ease the tension.
Offer Friendship
Rejection can cause emotional trauma, so you have to be careful in shutting someone out from your life. Though it’s understandable that you are not obliged to give back the kind of emotional attraction someone feels for you, you can at least offer friendship to make him feel comfortable. You can guarantee a connection but not to the extent of their expectations.
“Aim to pick something light that isn’t personal to him or too close to the situation of your rejecting him,” says Alicia Clark PsyD. “The trick is to pick a style of humor that will bring comfort to you both.” This suggestion could work.
Turning down a person can sometimes stress you over, but you have to understand that you’re in a position that holds the situation. You only need to give someone an approachable resolution so that they can wholeheartedly accept your decision.
“You have to use as much wisdom and discretion turning someone down as you do for any life choice, no matter how minor,” says Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein. “You don’t want to hurt his feelings since he didn’t do anything to you. It’s important to be a grownup about finding a way out of these situations. No one wants to hurt or get hurt, but sometimes taking that risk is necessary to move on in life.”
Besides, everybody needs a closure since it’s the right thing to do. It doesn’t have to be a long and drawn-out conversation. You just have to make it simple and honest.