Do you know how scary it is to know that you are unhappy, but you have no idea what you can do to make it stop?
I do. Throughout my college days, I had been sad about almost every aspect of my life.
For one, my parents decided to split. As it turned out, they had been sleeping in different beds ever since I was in middle school. I merely had no idea because I always slept like a log and would only wake up when both of them were already up. My parents wanted me out of the house before they filed for divorce because they could not bear to see their only child deal with a broken home for years.
In addition to that, my high school boyfriend and I had to go to different universities. He had a full-ride football scholarship in his dream school, while I got into an Ivy League school. We talked every night on the phone in the first few months, but our communication started to dwindle after some time. Before the semester ended, I found out that he embraced the jock (or should I say ‘jerk’?) life and started sleeping with one woman after another almost every night. Worse, I had to see him pick up women at the bar before realizing why he wasn’t answering my calls anymore.
The fact that I lived in the dorms with a bunch of other girls did not improve my mental health. I did not get lucky in the roommate department since I got stuck with a weed smoker and – pardon my French – a college slut. The smell of the weed, I could still forgive because she always smoked next to the window. But it was horrible to live with a promiscuous young adult who had different guys knocking on our dorm room often. I ended up yelling at the latter when she attempted to have sex with someone, even though we were there.
I knew I was almost on the verge of breaking down when a professor chose me as her most-hated student. Every time we met, she often tried to catch me off guard with her questions, and she was always close to succeeding. But when I learned about my parents’ divorce, I didn’t get to study the night before, so I went to the professor’s class with a blank mind. Though I don’t want to elaborate about the humiliation that I experienced that day, let’s say that it was so bad I wanted to jump off the bridge then.
Taking Control Of My Mental Health
Despite everything, I was lucky that my best friend lived in a nearby dorm. I called her on that day; I couldn’t even formulate words because of how defeated I felt. Still, she went to my dorm and pulled me to our favorite alfresco café and forced me to tell her everything that bothered me.
After an hour of listening, my best friend said, “I know you are very emotional to see reason right now. However, I want you to remember that life doesn’t end when your parents divorce, your boyfriend cheats, or your roommates and professors suck. You need to prove now more than ever that their actions only make you stronger.”
My best friend walked me back to the dorm afterward, and I went straight to bed. When I woke up, my best friend’s words came back to me and somehow made me want to take control of my mental health.
Reversing My Unhappiness
The first thing I did was break up with my boyfriend. I asked him to meet me; he tried to give an alibi, but I said it was urgent, so he had to go. When he saw me, the prick looked surprise after seeing a massive box of mementos that he gifted to me over the years. I would have split with him calmly, but I couldn’t help but smack his face when he acted hurt and asked why I was leaving him. Nevertheless, he backed away when I told him that I knew his cheating habits.
Then, I went home to talk to my parents. Although I was still shocked by their divorce, I had to let them know that they should no longer feel guilty about it. They were not young adults anymore; they had to find their own happiness sooner than later. We cried for some time, but we separated with light hearts.
As for my roommates, I couldn’t do anything with them, so I asked my best friend if she wanted to get an apartment with me in between our universities. She agreed; that’s why I didn’t have roommate problems anymore.
Then, since there was only a month left for the semester, I poured all my attention to studying for that nasty professor’s class. I aced every exam she threw at us, so she had no choice but to give me the highest marks. Ha!
I believe it makes an entire world of difference when you are aware of your unhappiness. It pushes you to ask for help or figure out how to resolve your problems.
Am I still unhappy? No way!